Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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