They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
