I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
