yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
