am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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