I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
