I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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