you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Sorry my hands just texted you
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
