i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
