Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
