the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
