its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize