Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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