ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
