Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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