You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
