I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
