fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
