Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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