Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
