naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
