Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
