i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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