She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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