Already got asked if we're dating
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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