And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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