I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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