apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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