just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
