Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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