uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
