probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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