didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
