The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
