Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
