I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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