i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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