All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
