Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
