Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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