i'm signing you up for texting rehab
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
