So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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