So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Randomize
