is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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