Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
sarcasm needs its own font
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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