I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
