Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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