I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize