You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
