exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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