I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
