Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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