based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
