The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
