I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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