I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
one might say we're banned from that church
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
