About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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