I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
