Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
