i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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