Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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