the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Randomize
