You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
